Embracing Change

The three women smiled warmly in response to my greeting and my question. “We’re fine, honey,” said one.

We were walking opposite directions around the loop encircling the park near my house, which meant our paths would cross again many times. Each time we passed by each other I heard snatches of their conversation, their voices tinged with weariness and sorrow and frustration, their footsteps plodding as if they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders.

 “…looters just making it worse…”

“…knee on his neck…”

“…it has to change. It has to.”

Each passing stirred something inside me, a quiet voice urging me to speak. I’ve learned over the decades that I ignore that voice at my own peril. As I approached them for what would have been the last time before heading home, I stopped.

“How are you doing?”

A puzzled look now accompanied their smiles—puzzled, perhaps, that a white guy would halt their walk to restate his earlier question. “We’re doing OK,” said the woman who spoke to me the first time. “You know, it’s hard, but thank you for asking.”

“I just wanted to say…” My voice trailed off. I realized I had no idea what I wanted to say.

They stood there, waiting.

“I just wanted to say ‘I love you.’” God help me, did that really come out of my mouth? “That’s weird, I know. I don’t know you, but I love you. And I’m sorry. What can I do?” I was surprised and embarrassed by the catch in my throat, by the tears welling in the corners of my eyes.

She opened her arms.

COVID be damned, I accepted her hug.

I told them my name. They told me theirs. I asked if I could walk with them. We talked. But mostly, I just listened.

Like Forrest Gump said, “I’m not a smart man.” But I wonder if I’ve stumbled upon my way forward in this time. After the violence and rage has spent itself, maybe this is how we falter toward sustainable grassroots change.

Maybe it’s in asking “how are you doing?”

Maybe it’s in exchanging names, and listening more and talking less.

Maybe it’s in asking “can I walk with you?’

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy birthday, Mom!

How are things? I’m not sure how this whole Heaven thing works…whether you’re actually there right now or in some sort of cosmic waiting room surrounded by the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before, anticipating the Grand Opening. Paul (the apostle...maybe you’ve already met him) says when we're absent from the body, we’re present with the Lord. So no matter what, you’re hanging out with Jesus, and that’s good enough for me.

Things are a little weird where we are, what with this pandemic going on. I wonder how you would have reacted if you were still here. You probably would've worried. That was your superpower, after all! You would've fretted about your husband, your kids and their spouses, and your precious grandkids and great-grandkids. You would've worried about whether they were healthy and safe, and whether they had enough food to eat and enough toilet paper, and if they were all reaching out to Jesus.

But I bet you'd have found peace, too. You would've found it because you would've done what you wanted all of us to do—reach out to Jesus. Like that sick woman in the Bible story, you’d have stretched your hand out for the hem of his robe, but unlike her, you wouldn’t have just let your fingertips brush against the fabric. No, you would've grabbed it and never let go.

You don’t need to do that anymore, do you? Like Paul (same one I mentioned before…tell him I said hi) said, you're seeing Jesus face to face. I can imagine you smiling, your eyes aglow with boundless love. I bet you talk to Him about us. But you don’t fret. You can see the big picture a bit better than we can, and even if you can’t, he’s assuring you it will all work out.

It’s good to know you’re there, safe. We who are on this side of the veil, who see Him through a glass darkly (when we bother to look at all) find it easy to forget that God’s steadfast love never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.

I didn’t make that last part up. Jeremiah (the prophet) said that. But you already knew that.

By the way, how’s he doing?