I will never feel better.
I will never restore the broken pieces of my heart.
I cannot stop the tears that spring from my eyes unbidden or
the lump that unexpectedly catches my throat.
I cannot stop replaying the images of frightened children
fleeing unspeakable horror, frantic parents seeking little faces, miniature
coffins sheltering tiny bodies.
I cannot stop imagining the car rides home with the empty
child seats, the unopened Christmas gifts under the trees, the names printed on
stockings still pinned to fireplaces, the vacant chairs at dinner tables.
I cannot stop picturing the last child, forced to hear the
pops, the sobs, the screams, the moans before succumbing to the madman.
I cannot.
I will not.
I refuse…
…because I do not want to forget…
…because I do not want there ever to be another day like
December 14, 2012.
