"As We Forgive..."

"I'm a man of faith, but it gets tried in times like this.”  --Marcus Weaver, shooting victim injured in Aurora, CO

How does a “man of faith” respond to evil and unspeakable tragedy? 

From here, safe in my comfortable Northern California home, it is easy to turn it into an intellectual exercise.  I think about where a loving God was as this horror unfolded.  I think about the reasons why God might allow something like this to happen.  I think about how all of us, even the most ardent atheist and the most cynical agnostic, is still a “person of faith.”  

I can ponder these things because my body, unlike Marcus Weaver’s, was not violated by heat and metal.  I did not hear the screams of children and friends.  Perhaps you saw him, as you watched from the relative comfort and safety from your laptop or iPad, on the jerky cell phone images from the scene.  Mr. Weaver was the dazed, hulking figure in the bloodied white shirt being led like a lost child from the theater by a police officer. 

Mr. Weaver’s mind doesn’t wrestle with my questions but leaps to a much more practical one: What do I do in response to the horror that I’ve just experienced?

Perhaps, a man whose faith is (presumably) in Jesus always knows the answer:  "I'm not saying I'm forgiving him today,” says Mr. Weaver.  “I'm not saying I'm not mad, but at some point I'm going to have to let it go."

A man of faith, as defined by Marcus Weaver, knows he must forgive, even when, as the anger and pain are still fresh, it is the most difficult thing in the world to do.  A man of faith knows that forgiveness is the most powerful weapon anyone can wield against evil.

So I’ll stop asking “how,” “where,” and “why.”  Instead I will think about “what”…what will my response be when evil inevitably encroaches into my life?  Instead I will pray that I can respond to personal tragedy in the same way that Marcus Weaver has.  Instead I will pray not only for healing for the physical wounds Mr. Weaver and the others endured, I will also pray for the grace they and their loved ones will all need to forgive the unforgivable.  

blognamegoeshere

My best friend Steve has been encouraging me to start a blog.  I’ve been meaning to for a long time, but I have always made excuses.  Things like “I can never think of anything to write” (not true) or “I don’t have the time” (also not true) or “Nobody will read it” (extremely likely).   But finally I decided to take Steve’s challenge and actually do it.

That was two months ago, and that was when I was suddenly faced with another insurmountable hurdle (AKA “excuse”): “Coming up with a name for the blog.”

Steve’s blog is called “A Stranger in a Strange Land.”  Check it out if you like excellent writing that gently, thoughtfully, and with good humor explores mostly spiritual things (http://stevetheyouthworker.blogspot.co.uk).  It suits him because as a church worker who has rarely spent more than three years of his adult life in one place, it’s a great description of him coupled with a subtle biblical reference to boot.  My blog name needed to be as cool as his. 

My first choices (things along the lines of “Pure Drivel” or “Delusional Rants”) were self-deprecating, which I liked, and taken by others, which I didn’t.  I realized then that choosing the right name was going to be hard, and that I could potentially be saddled with a name for a long time.  I wanted a name that said something about me, and implied that I was wittier and cleverer than I really am. 

I finally settled on two.  The second runner up was “God Makes Snakes” (a Far Side reference) and the winner is what you saw at the top of this page.  I like the absurdity of it and that most people won’t know what the heck it means without consulting Google, and even then it won’t make sense.  The Gary Larson-esque  aspect of it satisfies the “witty and clever” part of my requirement, but not the part about saying something about me. 

And maybe that’s why I chose it.  While I like the idea of a revelatory name, I am more drawn to one that I can hide behind.  I think the hardest thing about writing is not the effort involved in crafting words on a page or screen, it’s the vulnerability that this act creates.  So in other words, my biggest hurdle preventing me from starting a blog isn’t really that “nobody will read it.”

I’m more terrified that somebody actually might.